#Bee: RBG resumes work at Supreme Court

Half-human, half-robot Justice enters Supreme Court, introduces self as Ruth Bader Gins-Borg

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Yesterday after the #UnitedStates #SupremeCourt opened and #justices began filing in, a half-robot, half-human with the face of #RuthBaderGinsburg entered wielding an arm cannon, body armor, enhanced retinal targeting, and an integrated jetpack. “I AM RUTH BADER GINS-BORG. PLEASE PROCEED,” the #cybernetic #justice said to her colleagues, then reclined in her provided Windsor chair which was instantly crushed under the weight of her new cybernetic body.

Overall, #Gins-Borg performed well, never falling #asleep or showing any signs of #fatigue. “She didn’t even blink,” said Judge #SonyaSotomayor who claims the #cyborg justice stared at her for a large portion of the proceedings with one empty, soulless eye. At one point Sonya quietly whispered into the vacant #robot #woman’s ear, “is that you in there Ruth? What have they done to you?”

Some concerns were raised when an #abortion bill was brought before the #court and #Ginsborg began repeatedly shouting, “TERMINATE. TERMINATE. TERMINATE!” Technicians were brought in and, after a brief #reboot, court resumed as usual.

“Any concern that Ruth will be resigning her chair can be put to rest at this point,” said lead technician Robert Cornell. “She’s now running on the most powerful #lithium-ion #battery in the world, is plated with #titanium body armor, runs on an #Intel #Xeon processor, and can get a strong #wifi signal practically anywhere.” Ginsborg’s technicians believe she will remain on the court #centuries after everyone on this #Earth is dead and gone.

#Ginsburg made history as the second female appointed to the court by #BillClinton in 1993. Now, as #RuthBaderGins-Borg, she has made history again as the first United States Supreme Court cyborg justice.

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